These are my daughters.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Little eyes are Watching
To me being a mom is like being on a TV show , because your children are always watching you. Everything you do they copy you. All your bad habits will become theirs also. I try to be mindful of the little eyes that are watching me waiting to do the same things that I do. It is very important to be a good role modal for our children because they are a reflection of us. May Allah or God help us all to become better people.
These are my daughters.
These are my daughters.
What you can do about defiance
I found this on babycenter.com
What you can do about defiance
Be understanding. When your child screams and cries because she doesn't want to leave the playground, give her a hug and tell her you know it's hard to go home when she's having so much fun. The idea is to show her that instead of being part of the problem, you're actually on her side.
Try not to get angry (even if you feel embarrassed in front of the other parents). Be kind but firm about making her leave when she must.
Set limits. Young children need — and even want — limits, so set them and make sure your 2-year-old knows what they are. Spell it out for her: "We don't hit. If you're angry, use your words to tell Adam that you want the toy back" or "Remember, you always have to hold my hand in the parking lot."
If your youngster has problems abiding by the rules (as every 2-year-old will), work on solutions. If she hits her baby brother because she's feeling left out, for instance, let her help you feed or bathe him, then find a way for her to have her own special time with you. If she gets out of bed because she's afraid of the dark, give her a flashlight to keep on her nightstand.
Reinforce good behavior. Rather than paying attention to your child only when she's misbehaving, try to catch her acting appropriately: "Thanks for playing with Charlie while I change his diaper. That's very helpful!"
And though you may be sorely tempted to give your child a verbal lashing when she engages in undesirable antics, hold your tongue. "When a child behaves badly, she already feels terrible," says Jane Nelsen, author of the Positive Discipline series of books. "Where did we ever get the idea that in order to make children do better, we first have to make them feel worse?" In fact, doing so may only produce more negative behavior.
Remember, too, that disciplining your child doesn't mean controlling her — it means teaching her to control herself. Punishment might get her to behave, but only because she's afraid not to. It's best for your 2-year-old to do the right thing because she wants to — because it makes the day more fun for her or makes her feel good.
Use time-outs — positively. When your child is at the end of her rope, ready to bust a gasket because she isn't getting her way, help her cool off. Rather than a punitive time-out ("Go to your room!"), take her to a comfy sofa in the den or to a favorite corner of her bedroom.
Maybe your child would even like to design a "calm-down place" for herself — with a big pillow, a soft blanket, and a few favorite books. If she refuses to go, offer to go along with her and read a story.
If she still refuses, go yourself — just to chill out. You'll not only set a good example, you might get a much-needed break. Once you both feel better, that's the time to talk about appropriate behavior.
Empower your 2-year-old. Providing opportunities for your child to make her own choices allows her to try out some of her newfound autonomy in a controlled environment. Instead of demanding that she put on the jeans you've selected, for instance, let her choose one of the two pairs you've laid out. Ask if she'd like peas or green beans with dinner, and which of two stories at bedtime.
Another way to help your youngster feel more in control is to tell her what she can do instead of what she can't. Rather than saying, "No! Don't throw that ball in the house!" say, "Let's go outside and throw the ball together." If she wants an ice-cream cone before dinner, tell her she can choose between a slice of cheese and a banana.
Choose your battles. If your fashion-savvy 2-year-old wants to wear her striped turtleneck with her pink, polka-dot leggings, what do you care? If she wants waffles for lunch and peanut butter and jelly for breakfast, what's the harm? Sometimes it's easier to look the other way — when she splashes in a mud puddle on the way home, for example, or stuffs her puppet under her bed instead of putting it on the proper shelf.
Respect her age and stage. Try to avoid situations that are sure to send your 2-year-old into a meltdown. Why risk taking her to a fancy restaurant when you could just meet your sister for a picnic in the park? How realistic is it to expect your youngster to behave in a clothing store or sit quietly during an hour-long community meeting?
If you find yourself in a tricky situation, use distraction to avoid a head-on collision with your tot. When your child spots a lovely flower arrangement in the lobby, for instance, quickly show her how the numbers by the elevator shift as the elevator changes floors.
Finally, respect the unique world your 2-year-old lives in, especially the way she perceives time (or doesn't). So rather than expecting her to jump up from a game at daycare to rush home with you, give her a few minutes' notice to help her switch gears ("Amy, we'll leaving in five minutes, so please finish up").
There's no guarantee that your child will break away from her fun without complaint. (In fact, it's a good bet she'll raise the hairs on the back of your neck with her bellowing.) But as long as you're patient and consistent, your youngster will eventually learn that defiance isn't the way to get what she wants.
What you can do about defiance
Be understanding. When your child screams and cries because she doesn't want to leave the playground, give her a hug and tell her you know it's hard to go home when she's having so much fun. The idea is to show her that instead of being part of the problem, you're actually on her side.
Try not to get angry (even if you feel embarrassed in front of the other parents). Be kind but firm about making her leave when she must.
Set limits. Young children need — and even want — limits, so set them and make sure your 2-year-old knows what they are. Spell it out for her: "We don't hit. If you're angry, use your words to tell Adam that you want the toy back" or "Remember, you always have to hold my hand in the parking lot."
If your youngster has problems abiding by the rules (as every 2-year-old will), work on solutions. If she hits her baby brother because she's feeling left out, for instance, let her help you feed or bathe him, then find a way for her to have her own special time with you. If she gets out of bed because she's afraid of the dark, give her a flashlight to keep on her nightstand.
Reinforce good behavior. Rather than paying attention to your child only when she's misbehaving, try to catch her acting appropriately: "Thanks for playing with Charlie while I change his diaper. That's very helpful!"
And though you may be sorely tempted to give your child a verbal lashing when she engages in undesirable antics, hold your tongue. "When a child behaves badly, she already feels terrible," says Jane Nelsen, author of the Positive Discipline series of books. "Where did we ever get the idea that in order to make children do better, we first have to make them feel worse?" In fact, doing so may only produce more negative behavior.
Remember, too, that disciplining your child doesn't mean controlling her — it means teaching her to control herself. Punishment might get her to behave, but only because she's afraid not to. It's best for your 2-year-old to do the right thing because she wants to — because it makes the day more fun for her or makes her feel good.
Use time-outs — positively. When your child is at the end of her rope, ready to bust a gasket because she isn't getting her way, help her cool off. Rather than a punitive time-out ("Go to your room!"), take her to a comfy sofa in the den or to a favorite corner of her bedroom.
Maybe your child would even like to design a "calm-down place" for herself — with a big pillow, a soft blanket, and a few favorite books. If she refuses to go, offer to go along with her and read a story.
If she still refuses, go yourself — just to chill out. You'll not only set a good example, you might get a much-needed break. Once you both feel better, that's the time to talk about appropriate behavior.
Empower your 2-year-old. Providing opportunities for your child to make her own choices allows her to try out some of her newfound autonomy in a controlled environment. Instead of demanding that she put on the jeans you've selected, for instance, let her choose one of the two pairs you've laid out. Ask if she'd like peas or green beans with dinner, and which of two stories at bedtime.
Another way to help your youngster feel more in control is to tell her what she can do instead of what she can't. Rather than saying, "No! Don't throw that ball in the house!" say, "Let's go outside and throw the ball together." If she wants an ice-cream cone before dinner, tell her she can choose between a slice of cheese and a banana.
Choose your battles. If your fashion-savvy 2-year-old wants to wear her striped turtleneck with her pink, polka-dot leggings, what do you care? If she wants waffles for lunch and peanut butter and jelly for breakfast, what's the harm? Sometimes it's easier to look the other way — when she splashes in a mud puddle on the way home, for example, or stuffs her puppet under her bed instead of putting it on the proper shelf.
Respect her age and stage. Try to avoid situations that are sure to send your 2-year-old into a meltdown. Why risk taking her to a fancy restaurant when you could just meet your sister for a picnic in the park? How realistic is it to expect your youngster to behave in a clothing store or sit quietly during an hour-long community meeting?
If you find yourself in a tricky situation, use distraction to avoid a head-on collision with your tot. When your child spots a lovely flower arrangement in the lobby, for instance, quickly show her how the numbers by the elevator shift as the elevator changes floors.
Finally, respect the unique world your 2-year-old lives in, especially the way she perceives time (or doesn't). So rather than expecting her to jump up from a game at daycare to rush home with you, give her a few minutes' notice to help her switch gears ("Amy, we'll leaving in five minutes, so please finish up").
There's no guarantee that your child will break away from her fun without complaint. (In fact, it's a good bet she'll raise the hairs on the back of your neck with her bellowing.) But as long as you're patient and consistent, your youngster will eventually learn that defiance isn't the way to get what she wants.
Children,Our Future
Children are one of the many gifts that God has given us,they are so sweet and innocent and we as adults can learn a lot from them .They see things in such a simple way.And it don't take much to to make them happy. As a Parent of two beautiful daughters,I have learned that the most important thing to our children is that we show that we care about them, by listening,spending time with them,and believing in them. One way to show that you care about your child is to show interest in what they like to do.
Can ear infections be prevented in Children?
Can ear infections be prevented?
Ear infections can be very painful to our children here are some way to prevent ear infections.
Ear infections are not contagious or spread from one person to another, but the colds that result in ear infections are. Colds are spread when germs are released from the nose or mouth during coughing or sneezing. Anything that can reduce the spread of germs will help reduce ear infections.
Because most ear infections occur in children under the age of three, parents can play an active role in preventing them:
1. Have children use disposable tissues when they blow their noses or to cover their mouths when they cough.
2. Teach children that tissues should be used only once and then thrown away properly.
3. Do not allow children to share toys that they put in their mouths.
4. Wash dirty toys in hot, soapy water before allowing other children to play with them.
5. Teach children to always wash their hands after sneezing or coughing into them.
6. Do not allow sick children to share food or drinks.
7. Regularly wash and disinfect all surface areas and common play areas.
8. Do not share bathroom cups and other utensils that go in the mouth.
I found this information on the web.
Ear infections can be very painful to our children here are some way to prevent ear infections.
Ear infections are not contagious or spread from one person to another, but the colds that result in ear infections are. Colds are spread when germs are released from the nose or mouth during coughing or sneezing. Anything that can reduce the spread of germs will help reduce ear infections.
Because most ear infections occur in children under the age of three, parents can play an active role in preventing them:
1. Have children use disposable tissues when they blow their noses or to cover their mouths when they cough.
2. Teach children that tissues should be used only once and then thrown away properly.
3. Do not allow children to share toys that they put in their mouths.
4. Wash dirty toys in hot, soapy water before allowing other children to play with them.
5. Teach children to always wash their hands after sneezing or coughing into them.
6. Do not allow sick children to share food or drinks.
7. Regularly wash and disinfect all surface areas and common play areas.
8. Do not share bathroom cups and other utensils that go in the mouth.
I found this information on the web.
Effective ways to Discipline Children
Children are very wonderful, but can really test your patience. The thing to
remember is to stay calm and don't discipline them out of frustration, because
they will not learn anything. And don't say things in anger because it will
hurt your child .And also by saying mean thing to your child, you are not being
a good example for your child .How, we as parents act in every situation is
also how our child will response when they face that same situation. I
have realized that I have to think about what my child will learn from every
saturation.
If I spank my child or put her in the corner for a 30 min., what will she learn? Am I making her sit that long to teach her something or am just making her sit to get her out of my way? Or are you making your child sit in the corner to get even with your child for daring to disobey you! Will she even remember what she has done after all that time?
I have learned that asking my child questions that makes her think works for me. Here are some questions to ask your child:
What happened? What were you thinking of at the time? Who has been affected by what you have done? In what way? What do you think you need to do to make thing right?
Also what I do is take away something that my child like, for an example, my daughter loves to watch TV, so when she don't listen when I asked her to do something, or she hits her sister she can't watch TV for an 1 or 2 hours, so that she can understand that when she dose good things she will be able to do the things she likes and if she choose to do bad, her privileges will be taken away.
If I spank my child or put her in the corner for a 30 min., what will she learn? Am I making her sit that long to teach her something or am just making her sit to get her out of my way? Or are you making your child sit in the corner to get even with your child for daring to disobey you! Will she even remember what she has done after all that time?
I have learned that asking my child questions that makes her think works for me. Here are some questions to ask your child:
What happened? What were you thinking of at the time? Who has been affected by what you have done? In what way? What do you think you need to do to make thing right?
Also what I do is take away something that my child like, for an example, my daughter loves to watch TV, so when she don't listen when I asked her to do something, or she hits her sister she can't watch TV for an 1 or 2 hours, so that she can understand that when she dose good things she will be able to do the things she likes and if she choose to do bad, her privileges will be taken away.
Finding Hapiness in small things.
Children have a wonderful quality of, finding happiness in small things. We lose this quality as we become adults. For example, if you give a child a box he or she will be entertained for hours.Have you ever brought your child a gift in a big box and she played with the box more than the toy? It only takes such sample thing to make a child happy. Some times we as parents think that we need to buy our children lots of material things when acturaly children would be happly if we just spent time with them. So parents for this holiday, instead of buying name brand clothes or toys that cost 50 to 100 each invest that same money in a experience that will make your child grow. Take a trip to another city and learn about other people.Teach them about new things and other cultures.There is a great big world out there to explore and we all have to live in it togather.
Being a good mom is not an easy task
Being a good mom is not an easy task. You have to Constantly put effort in it. What you did yesterday doesn't count for today, because more than likely your child forgot about what you did with them yesterday or even a earlier in the day.
For example my daughter always want me to play house with her all day and I say to her" honey I just played with you a while ago she replies" mommy I want you to play with me now please"
So every day try to do something with each of your children because once the day is gone it is gone forever!
For example my daughter always want me to play house with her all day and I say to her" honey I just played with you a while ago she replies" mommy I want you to play with me now please"
So every day try to do something with each of your children because once the day is gone it is gone forever!
Partnership with Children
As parents it is very important to take time a listen to your child,which is also a great way to get your child to listen to you. If you show that you care about what your child has to say then he/she will believe that what you say is important also.
One way to let a child know that they are important to uyou is to ask your child their opinion on thing that are not important, such as, asking them what they want for breakfast,or what toys they want take to the park.
Or ask them what clothes or shoes they want to wear. In short parents and children should have a partnership together, not a dictatorship.
Here is a site that I found that has discount on a lot of fun things to do is every state. They will give you 50% off all your locol entertantment.
One way to let a child know that they are important to uyou is to ask your child their opinion on thing that are not important, such as, asking them what they want for breakfast,or what toys they want take to the park.
Or ask them what clothes or shoes they want to wear. In short parents and children should have a partnership together, not a dictatorship.
Here is a site that I found that has discount on a lot of fun things to do is every state. They will give you 50% off all your locol entertantment.
Children can be very amusing, that one of the reason why I love them so much. Everyday I look forward to getting mail,and today I didn't get any so I told my 3 year old daughter that I was sad because I didn't get any mail. She asked me "momy are you sad ". I said no I was just joking, and she said to me " mommy please don't joke about being sad".
How to teach respect
This is a nice artical I found on babycenter.com.
Trying to get respectful behavior out of a preschooler is like trying to get blood from the proverbial stone. That's due, in part, to the fact that her language skills are still developing. So, when told it's bedtime, she's unlikely to say, "Gee, I'm really having fun in the bath. I wonder if I could have five more minutes of playtime?" She's more likely to splash and yell, "No!" with gleeful rebellion glittering in her eyes.
What you can do
Demonstrate respectful behavior. "We don't generally give our children the kind of respect that we demand from them," says Jerry Wyckoff, a psychologist and the coauthor of Twenty Teachable Virtues. "We get confused because often, our upbringing makes us equate respect with fear. 'I really respected my father because I knew he'd hit me if ... ' That's not respect — that's fear." Instead, begin by listening. It can be hard to wait patiently for a preschooler to have her say, but it's worth it. Get down on her level, look her in the eye, and let her know you're interested in what she's telling you. It's the best way to teach her to listen to you just as carefully.
Teach polite responses. Your preschooler can show caring and respect for others through good manners.
Avoid overreacting. If your preschooler calls you a "stupid-head," try not to get upset (after all, you know you're not a stupid-head). A child who wants to provoke a reaction will endure almost any unpleasantness just to get a rise out of you. Instead, get face to face and say quietly but firmly, "We don't call each other names in our family." Then show her how to get what she wants by being respectful: "When you want me to play with you, just ask me nicely. Say, 'Daddy, I want you to come and have a tea party with me right now.'"
Expect disagreements. Life would be much easier if our kids always happily complied with our requests, but that's not human nature. Try to remember that when your preschooler won't do your bidding, she isn't trying to be disrespectful — she just has a different opinion.
Set limits. "One of the best ways to demonstrate respect is to be both kind and firm in your discipline," says Nelsen. "Being kind shows respect for your child, and being firm shows respect for what needs to be done." So if your preschooler throws a fit in the supermarket, and none of your coping tactics work, what do you do? "Kindly but firmly take her out to the car, and sit and read a magazine until she's done," advises Nelsen. Then you can say calmly, "Now you're ready to try again," and return to the store. Gradually she'll learn that a temper tantrum doesn't alter the fact that the food shopping has to get done.
Talk it over later. Sometimes the best way to handle disrespectful behavior is to discuss it with your preschooler later, when you've both had a chance to cool off. You can validate her feelings and make your point by saying, "Honey, I could tell you were very upset. What do you think caused that? What ideas do you have to solve the problem? What would be a more respectful way to tell me how you're feeling?"
"If a child knows you're really curious about her thinking, it's amazing — she'll often come to the same conclusion you would," says Nelsen. "And children can do this from the time they're 4."
Praise respectful behavior. Reinforce your preschooler's impromptu displays of politeness as much as possible. But be specific. "The praise should describe the behavior in detail," Wyckoff emphasizes. "We tend to say, 'good girl,' 'good boy,' 'good job.'" Instead, say, "Thank you for saying please when you asked for a treat," or "Thank you for knocking before you came in." Be explicit, and your child will quickly learn that her efforts are worthwhile and
appreciated.
Trying to get respectful behavior out of a preschooler is like trying to get blood from the proverbial stone. That's due, in part, to the fact that her language skills are still developing. So, when told it's bedtime, she's unlikely to say, "Gee, I'm really having fun in the bath. I wonder if I could have five more minutes of playtime?" She's more likely to splash and yell, "No!" with gleeful rebellion glittering in her eyes.
What you can do
Demonstrate respectful behavior. "We don't generally give our children the kind of respect that we demand from them," says Jerry Wyckoff, a psychologist and the coauthor of Twenty Teachable Virtues. "We get confused because often, our upbringing makes us equate respect with fear. 'I really respected my father because I knew he'd hit me if ... ' That's not respect — that's fear." Instead, begin by listening. It can be hard to wait patiently for a preschooler to have her say, but it's worth it. Get down on her level, look her in the eye, and let her know you're interested in what she's telling you. It's the best way to teach her to listen to you just as carefully.
Teach polite responses. Your preschooler can show caring and respect for others through good manners.
Avoid overreacting. If your preschooler calls you a "stupid-head," try not to get upset (after all, you know you're not a stupid-head). A child who wants to provoke a reaction will endure almost any unpleasantness just to get a rise out of you. Instead, get face to face and say quietly but firmly, "We don't call each other names in our family." Then show her how to get what she wants by being respectful: "When you want me to play with you, just ask me nicely. Say, 'Daddy, I want you to come and have a tea party with me right now.'"
Expect disagreements. Life would be much easier if our kids always happily complied with our requests, but that's not human nature. Try to remember that when your preschooler won't do your bidding, she isn't trying to be disrespectful — she just has a different opinion.
Set limits. "One of the best ways to demonstrate respect is to be both kind and firm in your discipline," says Nelsen. "Being kind shows respect for your child, and being firm shows respect for what needs to be done." So if your preschooler throws a fit in the supermarket, and none of your coping tactics work, what do you do? "Kindly but firmly take her out to the car, and sit and read a magazine until she's done," advises Nelsen. Then you can say calmly, "Now you're ready to try again," and return to the store. Gradually she'll learn that a temper tantrum doesn't alter the fact that the food shopping has to get done.
Talk it over later. Sometimes the best way to handle disrespectful behavior is to discuss it with your preschooler later, when you've both had a chance to cool off. You can validate her feelings and make your point by saying, "Honey, I could tell you were very upset. What do you think caused that? What ideas do you have to solve the problem? What would be a more respectful way to tell me how you're feeling?"
"If a child knows you're really curious about her thinking, it's amazing — she'll often come to the same conclusion you would," says Nelsen. "And children can do this from the time they're 4."
Praise respectful behavior. Reinforce your preschooler's impromptu displays of politeness as much as possible. But be specific. "The praise should describe the behavior in detail," Wyckoff emphasizes. "We tend to say, 'good girl,' 'good boy,' 'good job.'" Instead, say, "Thank you for saying please when you asked for a treat," or "Thank you for knocking before you came in." Be explicit, and your child will quickly learn that her efforts are worthwhile and
appreciated.
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